Motivation- Just do it!

Growth isn’t easy, success isn’t easy, you’ve gotta be prepared to fail in order to move forward.

If you never change anything about your current situation then you can guarantee nothing will change. So unless your 100% happy and have a solid back up plan in case of any unforeseen changes, then you’d better be prepared to take some action for change.

Why do people struggle to make changes?

Motivation is probably a big reason and fear of failure…

How on earth do you get motivated every day to change things when you can just about manage with what’s happening in your life right now?

You may be surrounded by others that are leading the life you want to live and getting the results you dream of getting, yet for some reason you cannot fathom out their magic formula to success???

How do they do it!!??!!

The answer isn’t a big secret as some people may lead you to believe…

There isn’t a one solution answer, no big secret, no hidden formula, no short cut. Just a repeated pattern of action and failure.

They simply just do it.

Taking small repeated steps forward that lead you towards where you ultimately what to be.

Acceptance before change.

Hold on a tic tho, some of you don’t actually know what you want? Some of you haven’t even accepted what you already have either.. ??

Step one before you take action to change anything is acceptance, taking full responsibility for things as they are now and being grateful for the good parts. There are always good parts in any given situation!

A great way to do this is by starting a gratitude journal, shift your mindset even a tiny bit on a daily basis and it will have a huge impact over time and will automatically become a positive habit. However, habits require repeated action. Start your day by writing a list of things your grateful for in your life now just as it is. You may find only 3 things to begin with, as time progresses and your mindset improves build the list up to 10 things daily that your grateful for. There’s always something, if your reading this now, you are alive and kicking, not being dead is a great reason to be grateful!

Another way to get motivated is to make time to reflect on what it is you actually want to change? This is an exercise I’ve done many times along my entrepreneurial journey. A written list you can make or if you are visual why not put together a vision board, they are loads of great apps online that you can download pictures from, (I use pic collage) maybe one for your health, one for your wealth and one for your family and house. Or you may like to cut out pictures from magazines, or simply prefer to write things down, what you want to change and the reasons why. Focus on different key areas in your life for a balanced approach to change. Remember, Life is more than just material wealth…

 

 

Another step towards change is awareness

I’m a big fan of meditation and the law of attraction, by practicing both daily and focusing more on the present moment rather than getting caught up in the past or overthinking my future, I’m far more aware of the choices I make daily. I’m also a calmer person overall and hopefully better to be around lol, an emotional rollercoaster can be draining company at times!

We all have choices, ones that help us move towards positive change and ones that set us back a few steps. If you can become more present by spending a few minutes daily focusing on your breath and being aware of your thoughts (not trying to control them at this stage) you become more aware of the present situation and run your life less on autopilot mode.

If you have no clue about meditation and are interested, I can highly recommend either looking into a six week course or downloading an app similar to Calm or headspace. It takes daily practice to make a difference so stick with it! Your not aiming to clear your mind, it’s more a bit of organisation and awareness.

How many times have you eaten something and afterwards hardly remember eating it? Or driven from A to B and thought crikey I don’t recall half of that journey??!!! This is autopilot. A learned pattern of behaviour that we repeat without thinking, great for some tasks but not so great for others! If we can slow down a bit and stand back from the day to day chaos of life, surprisingly enough you will find you have more time, then over time you may be able to recognise your thoughts and not get caught up in them, maybe even positively switch them up, spending more time in the present moment and making more informed positive choices.

If your thinking ‘there’s no way I can do that’ my mind is constantly in overdrive and my life is too busy… I know exactly how you feel. I was in the same shoes. Life just happened to me and I went along for the ride, a literal rollercoaster of work and stress, massive highs yes, I was a fun party girl, also massive lows, a bit of an emotional mess lol. The biggest low being 3 weeks after the birth of my son Bayley, almost 11 years ago now, where I crashed big time with severe post natal psychosis and ended up in a psychiatric ward.

This of course was an extreme case, a big wake up call that my life needed to change and that change had to come from me.

Thankfully, I recovered and through choice after 3 weeks, came off of medication. I found that if I trusted my instincts in being more aware of my thought patterns by practicing a form of meditation through deep breathing, I could slow down the crazy scary thoughts, the extreme anxiety and gradually focus on the more positive outcome.

I would face the fear, the scary thoughts and ask what’s the worse that could happen? How would I respond to this? What was the likelihood of it happening? Then after I had breathed my way through this scenario, I then gave all my attention to the good parts the best possible outcome. Not always easy I grant you, however, it was possible.

It took me just over a year to get signed off the mental health register. God knows how as I now realise this was pretty unusual, the only thing I can say is that I had a strong reason not to take medication after losing my twin sister to a mix of drugs & alcohol (prescribed and otherwise) and I had a strong reason why I had to recover for my son, something I had longed for with all my heart.

Medication has its place and is essential, I’m not suggesting anyone come off medication without seeking advice from a professional, however, I’m extremely passionate that you have to work on the grass roots of the problem alongside this, if you want to make a full recovery and improve your future self.

suggestions for improvement

1 Self talk
How do you speak to yourself daily? Become aware of this and if you can catch yourself speaking negatively, then consciously change it to a positive version! How you talk to yourself is crucial for making positive changes in life.


2 Stop comparing yourself to others
This is your journey nobody else’s but yours. If we constantly compare ourselves we either beat ourselves up if our results are not up to expectations or speak from the ego if we are smashing the so called competition. The only person ultimate to get better than is YOU.

3 Move beyond limiting beliefs
Anything is possible!! There are no limitations it all comes down to belief. Work on your mindset daily by listening to motivational audios. Aim to make yourself feel a bit better, even a tiny bit will gave an impact to your energy and vibration. Identify your limiting beliefs and then work on changing them. When I started out I had mixed views on money and wether I was worthy to be successful. I found reading books on this particular subject, then blogging or doing video helped me breakthrough limiting belief that stemmed as far back as my childhood.

4 Add value to others
Serve from the heart, simply switching from how can I help or empower or add value to others, rather than what’s in it for me, will in turn improve your own results. Trust this process. It’s everything and once you get this is simple to do.

5 Do the right thing!
Integrity is everything, I’m a strong believer in the law of attraction, some may believe in karma. Whatever you give out you will receive, always trust your instinct, if it feels right go for it, if not ask yourself why? You may have a temporary gain from your action, however, in the long run unethical behaviour will catch up with you!

6 Change daily habits
Small disciplines daily soon add up moving you towards success. A gratitude journal, daily meditation or listening to an inspirational audio will all move you towards positive change if and this is a biggie you are consistent!

7 Celebrate and share small victories!
However small it’s important to share and celebrate small successes! It not only encourages yourself, it encourages others, people love to follow a success story. Never think your tiny bit of success will not have a positive impact, it definitely will.

8 take responsibility for your life
In order to move forward and make positive changes it’s crucial to take full responsibility and let go of blame. Forgive anything from the past, it will only have a negative effect on your own personal future. We all make mistakes, you just need to let go and believe in yourself to get started.

In summary Motivation isn’t something that some people have and some do not. It’s something that takes time and practice to form new daily habits, however small to begin, if consistent they will add up over time and start to show positive results in your life.

So Just do it.

I hope you enjoyed my words today. What inspired me to write this blog? Well to be honest, I also needed a reminder to up my motivation game in a few areas, to ‘just do it!’ however, this also reminded me that it’s ok, it’s my journey not anyone else’s and I’ve come a very long way over the last 5/6 years or so!

Yes I may of neglected my blog a tad and not kept in regular contact with my list like I used to. However, I’m still moving forward and have ingrained through consistent action using the techniques above, many positive habits that have impacted my life in all areas.

Daily motivation or spiritual audios and meditation is top of my list, something I value dearly. Helping others that I’ve introduced into my online businesses, offering regular value to others via social media. Self talk, something I’m now automatically aware of and acting from integrity both valuable lessons I practice daily.

Last year saw some huge changes in my business and financial situation that are now thankfully heading towards the outcomewe desire. Lessons have been learnt, forgiveness practiced, & responsibility owned fully for the unexpected outcome. Ive undergone a whole lot of spiritual healing and focused on getting back on track through practicing taking daily action towards change.

Life will always challenge us, in order to grow and live our lives on purpose change is essential even when a tad painful.

If you are interested in how I’ve accomplished this, connect with me on Facebook I’d be happy to point you in the right direction to make positive changes to your life too.

Love x light x inspiration

Claire (Positiveminds Coach)

Motivation

I haven’t updated my blog in a wee while for one reason or another. No real excuses, a few family distractions, house sale fell through, business collapsed and then Mum moved in with us lol. So,my main focus has been rebuilding business, which is thankfully going great, rebuilding my mind to cope with all the changes, which is going great 😉 Lots of personal development and meditation which helps loads and reselling our house and looking for a new one (I’m more relaxed about the process now and have every faith things will work out great!)

Anyway, I posted a couple of my old poems on Facebook and realised I hadn’t done one for ages or written a blog in ages. I don’t normally like to force things and often just write from inspiration. So, I thought let’s see what happens if I just do it, get started and see if I can get in flow or inspired..

Here’s what came out.

Motivation

Where’s my mojo where has it gone?
I’m missing it’s excitement, the buzz and the song.
Can I retrieve it, bring it right back,
Get creative start enjoying the crack.

Where’s my mojo I don’t wanna force things,
Its my creator, my dreamer I love what it brings.
Can I just make it happen, by kicking its butt?
Feeding its juices, trusting my gut.

Action speak louder than anything spoken,
Put pen to paper, it’s not like I’m broken.
I know it’s within me, I have the power.
To inspire others, help them to flower.

So let’s quit the excuses and get back to work
Little and often no time to shirk.
It’s your purpose to serve, start lifting others
We are all one, just sisters and brothers.

Momentum will start when things start to flow,
So pick up that paper and give it a go.
Whatever it is that once lit your fire,
Go do that, with every ounce of desire

Motivation is great, an essential tool,
It’s free and available to one and all,
So trust that feeling deep in your heart,
Your time to shine, you’ve just gotta start…

Hope you enjoyed it and it inspires at least one person to take action and just do it today!

Love x light x inspiration x

Claire (Positiveminds Coach)

P.S if you want to find out what business’s I’m now doing that have taken me back from zero to over £5k a month, or you want to find out more about mindset sand mindful meditation get in touch by email or Facebook

Claire.positiveminds@gmail.com
Facebook

Posting in Facebook groups yes or no and why?

To summarise my video, I do feel posting in groups can be worthwhile, however a few pointers to consider…

1️⃣ what’s your intention? Are you doing this for you with a ‘me me me’ quick sale mentality? If so work on this mindset and make the shift to how can I help others from a place of service
2️⃣ are you offering value in your post or just spamming your link in copy n paste style? Videos or value driven posts will normally get a better response & success rate
3️⃣ are you reaching out and connecting with people? Building relationships and possible long term business associations.
4️⃣ are you using video or perhaps live videos to connect? Videos help people gain trust in you as a person not just another FB post.
5️⃣ are you authentic? Hyping up or untruthfully claiming results as yours from some guru is not going to help in the long run
6️⃣ are you consistent? Connecting and following up with people daily will over time bring positive results. Have faith and belief in what you are doing there really are no short cuts to success…

If this video and post helped you in any way, let me know or reach out to me for a chat. I’ve been online a wee while now and have had a fair amount of success (6 figures part time) alongside learning a few valuable lessons. I’ll be happy to share what’s working great for me on the path to financial freedom.

Love x light x inspiration x

Claire (positiveminds coaching)
send me a message on FACEBOOK or drop me an email claire.positiveminds@gmail.com

Adding people to groups without permission, Yes or No?

I asked this controversial question this morning on my Facebook Timeline and got an overwhelming response that around 85% of us are strongly opposed to this practice…

heres a Facebook Live video I did on the subject shortly afterwards.

click the link above to watch FB Live video

This response did get me wondering, why is it we all get so cross or passionate about something that doesn’t fit into what we consider to be the right way to do things?

Who is to say that this is the right way anyway?

Merely because the majority of people prefer it that way? Is there really a right or wrong way of doing things, or is it more important how we feel about it? after all your not going to please all the people all the time…

My opinion, and it doesn’t necessarily mean its right lol, is that it’s best to trust your own instincts and go with what feels right to you, not always the same way the majority of people feel. I do not like to be added to groups randomly myself, therefore I don’t feel its right to do this to others. However, even if I stand by this and teach my way to others, I try not to get upset or effected when Im added to groups myself, its just a bit of a pain to keep removing myself lol.

Likewise, if you do feel its ok, and someone tells you otherwise, why get upset? be strong and stick to what you believe is the right way for you.

This could apply to anything in life, parenting, marketing or eating healthy.

There are soooooo many different ways to do things, it’s no wonder when we are starting something new we often get confused and rely on so called experts, even if in our heart of hearts, it just doesn’t ‘feel’ right to us.

If what you are doing feels right, you are vibrating at one with the universe (hang in there if your not a spiritual type person) scientifically, we are energy, so how we feel, effects how we vibrate and the energy we give off, like attracts like.

If something feels wrong and you do it anyway, chances are the outcome will not be great, however, if it feels the right thing to you to do, the outcome will normally be more successful, our belief in our actions is key to the overall outcome.

So, next time someone says Zag and you wanna Zig, trust your own instincts, have a bit of faith in yourself and stick to what feels right and in line with your own core values. Expect that it may not be the same way for the majority and be ok with that.

Black, white, right, wrong, it’s all down to our perspective on life after all…

Love x light x inspiration x

Claire (Positiveminds Coach)
Claire.positiveminds@gmail.com

P.S If you would like to be added to a really cool group I’m part of, that teaches  forex for beginners and experts alike, (using a swipe app to copy, paste & profit,) send me a message on FACEBOOK or drop me an email and I’ll add you with your permission 😉 alternatively, you can take a look at the results videos on this page first, then reach out to me.

www.15kabundance.com

How to make a comeback from adversity

Big hello Claire Hartman.com I’ve missed you!

Today’s video is about making a come back after adversity

Today I wanna share with you guys on some of my own personal experience in order to possible help you move forward with yours. You may be wondering, Why after months away from consistently posting videos am I back!!??

I was chatting to a guy yesterday, that had recently joined my business and that I’ve never connected with before. However he knew me from my previous facebook lives and videos. So this got me thinking should I bite the bullet and jump back into videos and in particular live videos. (Check my Facebook live I did today HERE)

So Here I am! Doing two videos and a blog today!

Yes it’s a tad nerve wracking, however, a lot of our nerves are merely excitement disguised. Why do videos? The main reason I started was to offer value to others, inspire people to make positive changes and to help people gain some trust in me as a real person, not just another face on the Internet.

So back to the topic for today, how to make a comeback after adversity.

This may apply to many of you, you may giving up working for a while and may now be looking to start again or you may of fallen off the wagon on your health campaign or been made redundant, suffered ill health, or like myself your main source of income may of suddenly stopped overnight and you may of suffered financially and emotionally.

The first thing to overcome is taking responsibility for the situation and losing the blame. Everything happens for a reason, life is in a constant state of transitional change, providing us with sometime painful lessons long the way! So if I’m honest, which I always aim to be, the main reason I’ve not jumped on live over the last 8 months or so, was because I wasn’t emotionally strong enough. I had a lot of personal healing to do and didn’t fancy being an emotional wreck live in the public eye.

If you follow my facebook timeline or are on my list or read my blog, you will of seen some of my journey, maybe not the parts where I’m crying on the phone to the tax man, however, I do like to share some of the mindfulness techniques I use that have helped me get back in the game.

Once you can take responsibility of the situation, you will start to move forward. Let’s face it no one forced you to join a certain business, or be in a certain relationship or stuff your face with high fat foods. Only you. Let go of the blameand the negative feelings associated with it and you WILL start to move forward. One step at a time.

For me, losing the blame was easy, despite some of the decisions I made, influenced & controlled to an extent by certain people. I ultimately made the decisions, no one else, me. I chose to no longer promote any other business, I chose to support the one company 100% despite, the sometimes appalling way I was treated personally. I chose to spend freely, to travel extensively and to live in a bubble like it would last forever…Yep, I made mistakes and I take full responsibility and blame no one else. I may choose now to dissociate with a number of people, however, I hold no grudge, hate or blame. Everyone is on their own path in life, we can only change the direction we are going and control our response to the outcomes we cannot change or control.

The second part is to look for the lesson, look for the good in the situation that has temporarily caused you to slide backwards. What can you learn from this? What can you be grateful for now in your life? Write yourself a daily gratitude journal. For me, I will never rely on one income stream again, focus is important yes, however, diversification is also important. The main issue online in particular, is shiny ball syndrome! There are so many opportunities that people literally flit from one to the other, before seeing any success. If you can focus fully on one opportunity for 90 days and start to get some solid results and apply the training provided or anything you’ve learned from your up line consistently, yep I said consistently, not once a week then not again for two weeks, consistently, even if you have 30 minutes a day, this will get results if it’s every day! Then and only then, look at adding another business. (Unless of course, you are choosing to be completely passive and not team build) There are no real short cuts, you won’t get rich, without some action, despite what some people promise, this is in business and health. Relationship wise, you may wanna try a different technique lol.

Thirdly and this is pretty darn important and has helped me move forward. Put YOU on the priority list. Get some support and ideas from a trusted source. Work on yourself daily, emotional mental health is vital in attracting success and making life a tad easier. Yes hard work beats slacking, action is important and I’m a big fan of taking action. However, I don’t buy Into the ‘grind’ ethos in life. Life is to short to be up til 4am surviving on 2 hours sleep, ignoring your loved ones and eating a poor diet. You may get results fast in your business, however, you can bet you last dollar other areas will slide. Balance is key, prioritise your day. Spend time making sure you do things you love and enjoy, this will raise your energy and vibration point and results will flow with less drama and stress. For me, my focus switched to my mindfulness work, I’m retaining as a breathworks coach and this alongside my daily meditation has been vital in my emotional healing journey.

If you feel particularly crap one day, look into the reasons why? Can you talk it through with a trusted friend or partner? Can you go for a walk in nature? Can you put on some uplifting music? Can you catch up on a much needed nap or read a book, listen to an audio? Do some meditation? Being aware of your emotional state of mind is important. We are energy magnets and if you feel crap you can be guaranteed your gonna attract some more people on the same crappy wavelength lol

De clutter, if you’ve had a knock back and want to make a comeback declutter your life. Have a good old fashioned declutter at home, get rid of old clothes, or material stuff you no longer use. Fen shui your house, and make your environment a pleasant one to be in. Declutter your friends online and off! Ok you may not be able to completely declutter some of them, especially close family, however, if they are not a good positive influence in your life right now and your struggling dealing with your own stuff, the last thing you need is theirs… Distance yourself for a bit, or limit the time you spend with them. The same goes for drama, real or otherwise, get rid of the news, the newspapers, the gossip mags and anything that may potentially drag you down. You are the priority right now and it’s important to be mindful of what you feed your mind, body and spirit if you want to make a comeback.

Lastly, build a consistent routine and take very small action steps to move forward daily, don’t worry what everyone else is doing or what results they are getting. This is about you, your life, your journey and as long as you keep moving forward consistently, however small or slow you will start to see improvements in all areas. Then boom, your start to gain momentum and strength and before you know you will be thanking your previous mistakes.

Life is not what happens to us it’s what we do with what happens to us

These are the main techniques I’ve used to help me move forward and I now feel like I’m on the other side of adversity, confident that I will comeback from this bigger, better, stronger & wiser. I had to take time out from my videos & live videos to recover, recoup and be able to come back stronger and happier than before. I now honestly feel relieved about what happened and like a big weight has been lifted, trust me I was being watched like a hawk, not the kind of freedom I strived for when starting my journey online.


So in summary, the first thing to do if you want to make a comeback is to take responsibility of the situation, lose the blame and then get some support from a trusted source, make you a priority. Be aware of your emotional state of mind. Self care is crucial in getting back on top. Declutter your life and surround yourself with the beautiful positive likeminded people in life, get rid of any outside or inside toxic influences in your life. Build a daily routine of healing and action and stick to it consistently, set yourself up to win, if you fall backwards one day, be kind to yourself and then get right back to it as soon as you can. Take each moment as it comes, live life fully now in the present and keep on smiling 😄😄😄

Love x light x inspiration x

Claire (Positiveminds Coaching)

Claire

P.s if you are interested in what I’m up to business wise, feel free to reach out to me, either by email, facebook or send me a text. I may not answer a call, (unless prearranged) but I’ll always respond to a message 😘

Claire.positiveminds@gmail.com
Facebook
07775810276

Faith without fear

At times life can be challenging, overwhelming even and leave you wondering what’s it all about? What direction should you take,what decisions should you make? It may even seem scary that one simple decision you make today could literally reshape your future and the future of your family.

Our faith, is our belief, whatever that may be, that everything will work out fine, just as its meant to be, whatever we decide to do. Some may say belief without evidence, a deep knowing in your heart and soul.

The only real decisions we regret are the ones where we did not take any action to reshape or change our future in some way. Even if you have made decisions that ended up not going according to plan, there are some valuable lessons you can learn from them in order to propel you further forward.

I believe everything happens for a reason, it’s all down to the attitude you adopt following any failure or upheavals in life as to wether you will emerge victorious. Whatever you decided to do at the time, was the right decision for you. Take full responsibility and if it didn’t work out great, grow from it. The longer you harbour blame, hated, guilt or regret, the further you are from where you really want to be. You are only doing more damage to you!

It’s all an inside job, our thoughts generate our feelings, which in turn influence our actions. So, the sooner you recognise what’s going on upstairs the better. It may not be all good, which is perfectly ok, normal in fact. Without negative thoughts, there are no positive ones… It’s more of a case of being aware of them. Stopping, breathing and listening to them from time to time, imagine you are at your own private concert, watching the show, listening to the script in your mind from a safe distance, breathing in, breathing out and becoming more aware.

Yep we all have a voice in our heads, it’s normal, your not crazy lol and I should know I’ve been there got the t-shirt.

So, your listening to your negative mind concert and it’s kinda quite a show, don’t try to analyse it or change it even, just sit with it and watch and listen, keep breathing and don’t judge ant of it, just be aware. Keep breathing in and out, the aim is to become a watcher of your thoughts rather than an active participant, you want to learn to tame them and calm them rather than feed them. If you stop the fight and allow them, you may find them more willing to naturally calm down.

This practice will over time, enable you create a ‘gap’ a breathing space between thought, feeling and automatic reaction. It will help you to eventually respond to any person or situation ultimately out of your control. By gaining back some control over your thoughts, you will start to increase your faith in life and minimise your fear. It’s not gonna be instant and it’s not gonna work every time, however, if practiced regularly, it will certainly be a step in the right direction!

So is it possible to have faith without fear?

Yes and no, a certain amount of fear protects you and guides you, however when it starts to control your life, and overwhelm you, it’s important to find your faith and regain some control of your emotional monkey mind.

Keep the faith ❤️

Love x light x inspiration x

Claire (Positiveminds Coaching )

Ten common misconceptions about Meditation


For those of you that follow my posts on facebook or my blog from time to time, you will know I’m a big fan of meditation. I discovered this practice a few years ago after having read in a book it can help give you more clarity and focus in life. At the time, my life was a bit chaotic to say the least, my mind was often running at one hundred miles an hour and more often than not my mouth and actions followed suit. I didn’t really take or make time to breathe, in fact I quite often used to hold my breath to concentrate on a task in hand. My life was pretty much running on autopilot, so if there was something that may help me become more grounded and in a way slow things up, I was up for giving it a go!

I started with a 6 week course in the local WI hut run by one of the school Mums to give me a point in the right direction and then used to sporadically go to local guided meditation sessions close by to where I lived. At the time they were not really my thing, so I decided to go it alone, discovering many apps online to support my practice. It was however, not very regular, until I discovered mindfulness about a year ago and then decided to retrain and gain my qualifications to teach.

Part of the pre requisite for the course is that your practice is regular in order to assist and guide others. So for the last 6 months I have been regularly practicing meditation at least once a day, sometimes up to three times a day. Trust me, once you start to see the benefits, it becomes an addictive and positive habit!

Today, in this blog, I want to hi-light a couple of common misconceptions surrounding meditation and hopefully help you gain a better understanding as to wether it would enhance or benefit your life in any way.

Misconception 1

Meditation is for religious weirdos…

Of course meditation has been around for donkeys years and it did originate from a religious background (a popular belief is that it stems from Buddhism) However, things have moved on a wee bit since then and literally anyone can practice regardless of their beliefs or non beliefs

Misconception 2

You have to do it cross legged in the lotus position

Another myth… meditation can be practiced anyway that suits you! sitting down on a chair, on the floor, laying down, standing up or even walking! Ideally your going to need some peace and quiet to start with, even die hard meditators struggle to meditate effectively in a room full of screaming kids! I can now on occasions meditate and have both kids come into the room then eventually leave when I haven’t responded. In the beginning this was tough tho and I often got frustrated, so don’t give up, its not called a practice for nothing…

Misconception 3

Making time to mediate is selfish

Meditating over time has so many positive benefits as a regular habit that lots of other areas and people in your life will actually benefit from you taking time out just for you. The better you feel, the nicer you are to others as a general rule!

Misconception 4

Meditating is burying your head in the sand from your problems

If you have been practicing meditation or mindfulness for a while, you will soon come to realise its the exact opposite of this. Meditation increases our awareness and clarity of our thoughts and enables us to stand back from them rather than becoming so emotionally involved, so we can look at the bigger picture with more clarity and focus and perhaps find an effective solution more quickly. It may even for this reason seem more painful to start, no hiding place, however, stick with it and you will see the benefits, especially if you then take action to improve things on the outside.

Misconception 5

Meditation is easy!

Not always the case… especially at first! like anything worth doing it takes time and practice, and like anything worth having the whole effort of doing it consistently is the main reason people quit and say I can’t meditate or it’s not for me or it dosen’t work. If you want to see the benefits over time, then you will ideally have to practice daily or at least a few minutes a day and build it up.


Misconception 6

You have to close your eyes to meditate

Nope

Misconception 7

You have to chant while meditating…

Nope

Misconception 8

You have to have a quiet mind to meditate

Again, no, having a quiet mind to meditate is a bit like saying you have to have to have a super fit body to go and do a workout at the gym! If your mind is crazy busy, it’s a great reason to start meditating!

Misconception 9

You need lots of time to meditate

Nope, as little as 3 minutes a day if consistent can have a positive effect on your health and well being. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that if I start my day with a meditation practice as I normally do, I actually gain time in the day! how? I’m more aware, more focused, more in the present moment and less likely to be running around like a headless chicken achieving next to nothing on auto pilot. Mostly because, Ive spent more time and unnecessary emotions overthinking stuff…

Misconception 10

Meditation is only for adults

My kids love meditation, especially my youngest Lily, the younger the better I say! My personal opinion is that it should be taught as part of the curriculum in schools. Part of my overall vision is to teach mindfulness and meditation to both postnatal parents and children, its something I’m very passionate about. After having postnatal psychosis myself, ten years ago, I know that if I had discovered mindfulness and meditation before, during and after my pregnancy, it may of helped me recover or possibly even prevented it, who really knows for sure…

Right now, I’m training to become a fully qualified mindfulness teacher through breathworks and working online to financially support this vision and dream of running future workshops and retreats. Running several passive business’s enables me the free time to focus on my dream and passion knowing that even if I’m not actually online, things are still working effectively without me.

If you would like information on how I’m doing this or more information on meditation or mindfulness, please do drop me a line at Claire.positiveminds@gmail.com or message me directly on facebook.

Love x light x inspiration x

Claire (Positiveminds Coaching)

How our thoughts and feelings can create our reality

So last night wasn’t the best nights sleep I’ve ever had, my mind had become overactive from looking at one too many houses for sale on the Internet and didn’t want to shut down…

Rewind a few years ago and this would of well and truly peed me off, I’d of laid there tossing and turning, huffing and puffing and building up a picture of a disastrous day ahead of me feeling exhausted, having to get up and do the school run, feeling sorry for myself, I’d of been grumpy and most likely shouted at the kids, Mr H would of got it in the ear and most probably got the blame somehow! All of this over emotional thinking would of exaggerated my situation and left me completely exhausted and fed up. However, thankfully with my mindfulness mediation practice I’m able to look at things from a wider perspective.

So does it help me sleep, is mindfulness a quick fix solution to my immediate problem, no, not really, however, it does help me relax more and become more consciously aware of my thoughts and situation rather than getting caught up in them and digging up all sorts of other scenarios from my mind. I can focus more on my breathing and the present feelings in the body, lean into any discomfort without judgement and with kindness instead (my legs were restless for example) and then accept the situation as it is, rather than creating secondary emotional pain from my thought patterns and making things ultimately worse.

I also started to have a few creative ideas from my conscious mind, this video below and this blog were born from that. So felt quite positive that I could inspire others perhaps.

Thoughts

Ok the mind is the thinking place, a lot of the thoughts we have we are not even aware of, pretty crazy eh? There are three main parts to this, let me try and explain in simple terms.

Conscious mind

The part we are aware of hurray! However, for most of us, this is only about 10% of our thinking… The conscious mind works on logic and reasoning. For example I’m consciously aware right now as I write this blog, if I’m hungry, I consciously choose what to eat, then if it’s something I’ve never done or rarely done before, I use this part of the brain to get the food out and fix something nice to eat, today I consciously choose to eat a delicious healthy breakfast, egg and avocado pizza! Delicious! This part of the brain, the logical clear thinking part is however, very rarely in control! Most of the time it’s the other two that are…

Subconscious mind

This part of our minds takes over 60% of the time. It’s like our day to day easy accessible filing system, the stuff we just know, we’ve already learnt, our day to day data as such. For example, if someone asks you for a telephone number, you recall this without too much over thinking or effort. If your making a simple breakfast of toast, you haven’t got to put too much thought into making it. You’re walking home the same route as every other day, your subconscious mind takes over and you get home without too much trouble. Of course you can also choose to access your conscious mind and turn this into a much more enjoyable mindful walk, taking time to enjoy the sky, literally smell the roses. (See my poem below on the pleasure of treasure we may find on a dull day) However, for the majority unfamiliar with a mindfulness practice, It’s second nature and mostly done on auto pilot. How many times have you ended up somewhere and had no real memory of the actual journey?

Pleasure of treasure

What is there that I can see,
something pleasant out there for me?
When life is tough and I’m feeling low
Where do I look, where do I go?

One small flower shows its head,
A sign of hope life’s not dead,
I reach to touch, to smell it’s glory,
Things will change, a different story…

Looking up a beautiful sky,
A glimmer of sun as clouds pass by,
I start to lift up from the gloom,
Open my mind to make some room.

A warm sensation hits my face,
Takes me out of this dark place,
I stare in wonder at life’s beauty
To seek out treasure now my duty

A blackbird sitting on the tree,
I swear his singing just for me…
I start to notice the little things,
The hidden gems that life brings

A faraway wood pigeon hums a tune,
As I walk along I’ll be home soon,
My mood has lifted, I start to smile,
One step at a time, a thankful mile.

Unconscious mind

Ok this part is deep, real deep and accounts for about 30% of our thought process. This part is our blueprint, our beliefs, our core values, our behaviours, where our daily habits are stored, this is the basement of our mind, the library where the big books are kept. A lot of people have no clue about this part of the mind and feel it’s completely out of their control to change. It’s who they are and that’s it! Well, this can be changed, not overnight by any means, however over time and with daily practice, we can actually retrain this part of the mind to think differently by continually feeding it different data on a daily basis and taking out the clutter and garbage.(less news perhaps? Less gossip, Less negative people or influences, more motivational reading, meditation practice, kinder to self, non judgemental to others)
By becoming more consciously aware, though mindfulness and meditation of out thoughts, we are heading on the first step of the journey towards changing them in both the subconscious and unconscious mind.

Feelings

The next part of the puzzle is our feelings, what comes first the chicken or the egg, the thought or the feeling? Most ‘experts’ will say thoughts, which is kinda true, so if we practice awareness of thoughts, we can ultimately look at things from a bigger different perspective and change the way we feel about them. Reach for a better feeling, a tiny bit of relief about the current situation we are in and thinking about. Another way to proactively feel better and therefore think better about a situation is to do something that makes you feel better! Anything! Take the dog out for a walk, take a nap, do some yoga, smile at strangers, go for a run, put on some music anything that makes you feel good, will help lift you and your start to think better thoughts! It won’t change the situation, however, it will help change the way you feel about it which will in turn create a better more positive response rather than a knee jerk negative reaction.

Response versus reaction

Ok so now we have a bit of an understanding on our thought process, followed by our feelings, the next part that triggers the outcome and reality is our actions, are we reacting to situations on autopilot or responding with some logical awareness of the overall situation.

I like to think of my mind having an emotional chimp that does the reacting part, my job is to keep him happy and his job is to protect me, (the fight or flight response) which back in caveman days was extremely important as we were most likely gonna have to kill or run away from something on a daily basis! However, times have changed and some of the instant reactions our emotional chimps have are not necessarily gonna help things in the long run. So if I keep my chimp happy and feed him a banana regularly, take him out of his cage for daily walks, put him to bed early and keep him entertained, he is less likely to misbehave. Learn to love your inner chimp (you) and he will protect you when the time is right, rather than reacting in fear at the slightest thing or fighting all areas of your life. (Often running from the dog with no teeth, ie running away from something that’s not so scary after all!)

Does that make any sense lol, I hope so… It works for me! Now I’m not saying my chimp is 100% behaved all the time, he does occasionally play up still 😉 which is ok by me.

So naughty chimp = automatic reaction
Well behaved chimp = equals logical calm response

Either way the action you take in your daily life from a mixture of your thoughts, feelings and actions is gonna create your reality. So the choices you make are up to you! It’s not an instant process, but making a few small changes consistently in the right direction can over time make a huge difference to your life.

If this inspires you in any way, please do let me know I’d love to hear your feedback, or share with others so it may help them in some way ❤️

Love x light x inspiration x

Claire (Positiveminds Coach)

Facebook (shoot me a message to connect)
Positive health page (daily ideas and inspiration)

It’s ok not to be perfect…

It’s a common misconception especially on social media, that we think everyone else’s lives are running smoothly all the time and ours is anything but.
Let’s face it, as humans we are constantly striving for perfection in life and constantly giving ourselves a hard time when we fail to achieve this, over and over again. We want to be right, we don’t like failure, it scares us, as we don’t want to admit we have screwed up and made a mistake.

Instead we beat ourselves up internally in our minds with secondary emotional suffering and carry on regardless, sometimes living a life that isn’t really ours.

Hello…??!!

Everyone screws up, FACT, possibly on a daily basis. So, why is it such big deal to admit we have made a mistake? And why do we make ourselves feel crappy for having done this more often than not?

I did this video yesterday, watched it back, almost cringed at certain points and almost deleted it, then thought sod it, it’s not perfect, I’m not perfect and that’s ok.

Why are we sometimes afraid to be authentic? Our true selves warts and all? Why are we sometimes afraid to admit to our kids that, do you know what, you’ve got a valid point there and perhaps I’m wrong after all, or that a decision or response wasn’t your finest hour, agree to meet somewhere in the middle perhaps, admit you were wrong even. Instead, we do what other people perceive to be the right way, the school, our friends, our sister, our parents etc. Just because we think we should …
Surely we will gain more respect in the long run with some open heartfelt honesty? Surely we will find inner peace and harmony by being our authentic self?
Letting go of our ingrained need to be right, just because its supposed to be the right way, can be very liberating, and potentially good for our personal wellbeing of the mind, body and soul.

Clinging on to anything good or bad is not always the best way forward, to learn, grow and prosper in life, emotional balance is key. Chances are, the people you think have it all together externally, are a mess internally and emotionally. They are all human after all.

Being authentic can be very liberating, now that doesn’t necessarily mean airing your dirty washing in public and offloading your negative energy on others on a daily basis, unless that’s the way you really want to be, however, living in a false positivity bubble and bottling up your true inner feelings for fear of upsetting someone, will do neither you or them any good in the long run. So it’s ok, not to be ok all the time.

Life can be tough at times, it’s ok to have crap days, it’s ok to be out of alignment, pretty normal in fact, it’s awareness of your feelings and thoughts, how you respond and deal with them that will determine the direction of your life, upwards or backwards. I’m a pretty positive person and like to look for the good in most situations and people, however, some days are tougher than others. Life can throw a few curveballs my way, I’m not going to pretend it’s all love hearts and roses all the time… On occasion I could easily curl up and hide under the covers or want to run and hide from the world or turn to chocolate or red wine for solace. The difference now is that these moments don’t last, they don’t turn into days, weeks or months, as I have learned to be kinder to myself, to recognise my emotional state of mind and to gain some control over my thought process and the feelings in my body through mindfulness and meditation.

So, yes I’m still not perfect by a long shot, yes, I make mistakes and my emotional chimp does at times take over my reaction rather than me controlling my response. And that’s ok. Mindfulness will never remove this completely, it’s not a miracle cure. I cannot meditate a stressful or painful situation away. Instead, I can learn to cope with it more effectively and get back some emotional balance back in my life.

So whilst life can still have ups and downs and bumps in the road, it’s a smoother ride, knowing I can focus on the feelings in my body, lean into them, stop fighting with them and instead learn to have some control of the feelings in my mind, the secondary emotional thoughts (the ones where we beat ourselves up) with a kindly awareness and compassion. By being kinder to myself, giving myself permission not to be perfect, rather than comparing myself with anyone else, I know I’m moving forward, towards reaching my true potential.

Try a short 3 minute breathing exercise.

Give yourself a break, physically, mentally and emotionally, you’ve made a mistake, breathe deep, take time out to recognise your emotional state of mind, feel the feelings in your body, what does stress, anger, jealousy, self doubt, anxiety or any other negative emotion actually feel like? Breathe into it, lean into it, allow it rather than fight it, know it’s ok to feel this way at times, be kind to yourself. If the mind starts to wander or catastrophise the situation that’s ok too, just keep refocusing on the breath, try not to enter into the minds conversation or fight the thoughts, just be aware of them and keep coming back to your breath.

Imagine your breath as open arms cradling you with love and kindness, then when the negative feelings start to feel more manageable, open your awareness to look for more pleasant sensations within your body, are your hands warm and soft perhaps, does this feel good? aim to look at the situation from a more balanced perspective, letting go of the need for perfection, returning to the breath and treating yourself with more compassion, neither clinging to the negative or the positive and realising everything will be ok whatever the outcome, life happens, it’s not always easy, we make mistakes, none of us are perfect, we are human after all…

Love x light x inspiration x

Claire (Positiveminds Coaching)

What is mindfulness …

The official definition of mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn who is the Professor of Medicine Emeritus and creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

“The awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmental to the unfolding of experience moment by moment.”

After recently returning from my residential Teacher Training Introduction for Breathworks, where I’ve started the first steps in becoming an accredited mindfulness teacher, here’s my view in a video I did this morning…

I’ve had a couple of days to process the information from the course and wanted to write this blog to share my experience and journey.

I’d like to say I’d eased myself back into my daily routine gently, however, it was more of a bang, when I returned to discover the bathroom had leaked and water was pouring from the ceiling into the kitchen, plus the minute I got through the door the estate agent selling the house we are looking to purchase, rang to say they may have to put the house back on the market as our mortgage was taking a long time to get offered. The reason being, my accountant had just submitted my end of year accounts and was waiting on documentation from the tax office. So Saturday morning after my cleaner had messaged me to say she was ill, instead of spending quality time with my family, I did two hours cleaning before pre booked viewers came to see the house. Somehow, I managed to convince them the water from the leak was where I had been cleaning the kitchen floor… I also had to arranged for my car to be repaired after someone reversed off the drive into my bumper and console my Mum who was very stressed re our forthcoming move as she has sold her house and fears being homeless until she moves in with us!

Thankfully, my new found love of daily mediation and mindfulness has helped a great deal and I’m somehow keeping on top of things in a relatively calm manner. I’ve increased my daily practice to 30 minutes and I’m back into my yoga and listening to daily audios routine. A great way to start the day is to work on you first.
Life can be stressful at times for anyone, moving house is listed as one of the top known stressors that most of us go through at one time or another. Mindfulness and mediation do not get rid of stress or pain, they do however, provide you with the tools to limit the secondary emotional suffering that more often than not goes hand in hand.

What is primary and secondary suffering?

I’ll try to keep it in simple terms, the primary suffering is the actual stressful situation or the actual physical pain you may be in. For example if you suffer from a chronic long term back ache that is your primary suffering. This may or may not ever get better Or disappear depending on the individual circumstances. The secondary part however, is more of a mental or emotional suffering we often unnecessarily put ourselves through. The thoughts we associate to our primary suffering, by blocking it, fighting or resisting or drowning in overwhelment.

How can mindfulness help?

The tools we can develop through a consistent mindfulness practice can help elevate some of our secondary suffering and perhaps over time help us to lean in more compassionately with an awareness and acceptance of our situation and the thoughts and feelings that surround it.

The Taraloka retreat.

After a four hour drive from Essex to the edge of Wales, I was greeted warmly by one of the trainers, I was early, the first student there and felt keen, relaxed and excited for the first step into this unknown adventure! After doing the online version of the mindfulness for health course, I had an idea of what was going to take place. However, in hindsight I was no where near prepared for the intensity of the week ahead…

On Wednesday after dinner, my sister texted me, too much connection with the outside world was discouraged in order to remain focused, however, I had sneaked out to call the kids before bedtime as promised.
Lisa ‘ hope your having a lovely time? 😊’
Me ‘Yes very intense, emotionally, mentally and physically’. I replied through tears.
The day before I was all but ready to get in my car and drive home, giving up on my dream of ever qualifying as a mindfulness teacher. Convinced it wasn’t for me and I didn’t have what it took, by Wednesday pm thankfully I’d turned a corner and could see the light! I’m pretty sure my sister as thought I’d gone on a spa retreat for the week lol.

The days were long and started beautifully with a 45 minute morning meditation in the shrine room, up til now the most I had meditated in one sitting was 20 minutes, so after 45 minutes my back was in bits, the second day I opted for a seated chair meditation and by the end of the week had discovered the most effective position for myself and my back was a kneeling position with enough cushions for support. This personal experience will aid me in helping others to experiment what is the best position for them. A myth associated with mindful meditation is that you are sitting there cross legged in the lotus position! Meditation is most effective if you are settled and comfortable, wether it’s laying down, seated, cross legged, kneeling or even standing, and you can always go for a mindful walk or experience mindful movement as part of a daily practice.

Silence is golden, or is it…

Being silent is something that is a tad alien to me in company, now don’t get me wrong I love silence and after dropping my two lively kids at school, relish the quiet calm atmosphere alone. However, waking in silence and eating breakfast in silence when in the company of almost 30 strangers you’ve just met and are acquainting yourself with was very strange at first! I love to say good morning, thank you for someone opening a door and have general polite chit chat whilst eating together. On Day three between classes we were silent until after lunch, I’m pretty sure the teacher heard me gasp when this was announced! However, I remained silent and over the course of the week could appreciate the reasons behind this practice. The Sunday after I returned, we even had a family morning silence until after breakfast, and stayed offline until the evening.

At night, being silent was probably a good thing to keep the social butterflies like myself from staying up all night chatting, it also took pressure off the introverts amongst us that quite often find social interaction a daunting experience. It was also a great opportunity to practice mindful eating and to become more aware of your surroundings in the present moment. Going out on a silent walk alongside the canal and observing nature with my colleagues was a beautiful experience, making time to stand still and listen for the sounds of the wind rustling in the trees and watch the natural beauty that surrounded us.

Another challenge I found was the practice of mindful listening and speaking throughout lessons, 3/4 years ago this would of been a greater challenge, so whilst I have improved both these skills a great deal, I still have a way to go! Our excellent and sometimes extremely tough trainer often called me out for speaking inappropriately during feedback sessions. I felt a bit like I was back in school, what can I say, I’m a work in progress…

After my mid week wobble and my 121 session with my trainer Karen, I opened up about how I was finding the experience tough emotionally and after that and hearing her side of the situation, I did feel a lot better. I had made some great connections within the group fairly quickly and if I’m honest I found it difficult that I had not connected more personally with my trainer. As a trainer, you have to maintain Balance in order to gain respect and understanding you cannot always be everyone’s ‘friend’ if you want to get the best from them. So whilst I initially had a lot of secondary emotional suffering and resistance with this situation, I could after speaking privately understand where she was coming from.

The course was also very interactive and we had to learn and teach various key concepts and meditations to our group. I’m pretty confident speaking in a group, however leading a meditation is a very personal experience, and although you are not ultimately responsible for each persons individual experience, as a beginner still learning the scripts, methods and processes and receiving and giving detailed feedback it certainly feels like it! I practiced a meditation on the ‘treasure of pleasure’, where we look for the small things in our situation to balance out what maybe be painful or uncomfortable. There’s a lot to remember in the content alone, add to this attempting to sound natural, soothing, compassionate and in flow and you can imagine it’s a skill that requires some practice…

My palms were literally clammy and sweating for the whole of the lesson previous to mine, my stomach was in knots and I was aware that my mind was also adding to my discomfort with secondary suffering! However, I got through it by using some of the mindfulness techniques I had already learned and even managed to focus on ‘what went well’ in the feedback with some self compassion. My colleagues were lovely to me and I was relieved to have got my first full meditation over and done with. I had co delivered a key concept of the training and 3 minute breathing exercise 2 days before, this was more in my comfort zone and I found it fairly painless in comparison to the full ten minute meditation. On the last day I delivered a mindful movement mediation and was pleasantly surprised that I thoroughly enjoyed the session! We do an enquiry afterwards, this part I’m still wobbly on and mindful of not interrogating people or probing too much, instead asking questions in a gentle warm and kind manner, whilst being genuine. My natural ability is more probing so again this is another skill to practice as some of the people I will be delivering to may be very emotionally vulnerable.

The week was very hands on taking turns in the cleaning and washing up after each meal, the food was vegan and we enjoyed delicious soups most lunchtimes, one day we had jacket potatoes with beans and the variety was like a meal at the ritz and very welcome. One of my dear friends on the course shared a personal emotional moment, where she found herself getting cross in her head during the silence at the prospect of another bowl of soup! It’s crazy the small things we get cross at when emotionally and mentally challenged!

All in all I found the course, stimulation and challenging, a mix bag of emotions and a steep learning curve, after bonding and listening to many different stories of people’s lives, I do realise how blessed I am and am excited for the future learning on this journey. My next step is to redo my meditation diaries I completed in the wrong order (the online course did not really clearly explain this) book my mindful movement weekend in London and find an 8 week mindfulness for health course locally that I can attend and help out with. As we are looking to move soon, I may wait until then, and get in touch with re mindfulness teacher in the Norwich area. Once that is completed, I will attend a further retreat on the Teacher Training Advanced course, focusing more on mindfulness for stress. Then once completed, run a supervised 8 week course before applying for accreditation. The whole process takes a minimum of a year to complete. I’m very excited to be following this path wherever it may lead.

I returned to some minor house/car/tax chaos in life aimed with a new found appreciation of my mindfulness practice, I also returned to a bunch of beautiful flowers and the arms of my family, my gorgeous supportive husband and two amazing kids. ❤️❤️❤️

I was also pleased to return to over 600 euros from two of the passive income streams I run online. I didn’t even have to login whilst I was away…My vision is to carry on with my online business’s to provide a solid financial foundation in order for me to give back fully and unconditionally to my passion in helping others discover a path of mindfulness. It will not cure any health or mental condition you may have, however, it may just unlock the power you already have within to lead a happy and fulfilling life whatever the circumstances.

Love x light x inspiration x

Claire (Positiveminds Coaching)

P.S if you would like further details of the course I’m attending or details of the online business’s that are supporting my passion and journey, please drop me an email at Claire.positiveminds@gmail.com or message me on FACEBOOK